Uninvited Guest

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Doing some cleaning, going through stuff, seeing what is needed and what can be tossed, recycled or donated.  The process sorta makes a mess, at least until I get finished, as there are stacks of sorted things here and there.  It's amazing the junk that seems to accumulate over time, so there was lots of paper to be recycled, an old stereo and TV to be taken to the rescue mission, and some junk was just tossed. 

I walked into the bedroom during all this, and saw something dark move near my dresser out of the corner of my eye, and heard the slight rustling of paper that was in one of the above mentioned stacks.  So, I immediately sat down (jumped) on my bed and wondered if my mind was playing tricks on me.  I know I saw something, but what was it?  My first thought was that it was either a mouse (which is okay in that they don't freak me out) or a spider.  Now, if it was a spider, it had to be a BIG spider, as they don't usually weigh enough to rustle paper.

The people that know me, know I don't bugs.  And yes, I know a spider really isn't an insect, but who cares.  Anything that has more than 4 legs is a bug and spiders have 8, so that makes them a bug.  A nasty, creepy crawly type bug that needs to be squashed.  It creeps me out to even think about spiders.  In one of the Harry Potter movies there was a scene where they follow these little (still nasty) spiders into the forest, where they meet up with these HUGE FREAKING SPIDERS.  I was watching this at home on DVD, and my kids were with me.  They had seen it before at the theater, and they weren't watching the movie at this point, they were watching me, knowing how I would react.  I think my reaction was much more entertaining (for them) than the movie could ever be. 

So...I'm in my room, barefoot at the moment.  I reach down off the bed and get my running shoes, carefully checking them just to make sure nothing crawled up inside them.  That is one surprise I really don't need.  The shoes checked out fine, so I put them on, and started tapping at the stack next to the dresser.  Nothing alive moved.  I did it again...and again.  Nothing.  Interesting.... Using my foot, I push the stack over to the side, and there it was.

At first it looked like a little snake, certainly it had a reptilian type head, but then I noticed the legs.  It was a lizard.  Okay...this is fine, actually quite happy considering what it could've been.  But now a slight dilemma.  How to get the thing out of my house.  While it doesn't really bother me, I don't want it running about the place, so I devise a plan.  I go to the kitchen and get a drinking glass, and I get a comic book backing board (thin piece of white cardboard about the size of a comic book) from my office.

The plan is to use the board to nudge the little guy (or gal, I can't tell) into the glass.  Nice theory, harder to implement than I had first thought.  The little lizard was quick, but not all that fast.  I gave the lizard a little push with the board and held the glass on the floor.  Apparently no one told the lizard of the plan, as he didn't go in the glass, but instead slid right past the glass and made a break for it.

Fortunately, the backing board part of the plan was good.  As the lizard ran here and there throughout the house, the board stopped it from getting into places where I could no longer get at him.  I'm chasing this thing throughout my room, and through the house, blocking him at various points, but all the while it's deftly avoiding the glass. 

Running around the house bent over blocking a lizard's escape isn't as easy as it sounds.  After a while, the critter runs into the guest bathroom, where I make my final stand.  He's trapped, and I think he knows it.  Or maybe it just got tired, but somehow I managed to herd him into the glass and put the board on top to keep him there.  Success!!  I take the lizard outside and put him in the front yard outside. 

Now he is outside where he belongs, and I go back inside where I belong.  Just as it should be.

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