Wood Bee Hunting

Thursday, May 22, 2008

As I pulled into the driveway, I noticed a couple of wood bees buzzing around my carport.  Apparently the poison I sprayed earlier this week didn't completely work, or these could be newbies...er new bees. 

I hate bugs.  Doesn't matter what kind of bug, I hate them.  And I especially don't like big, hairy, nasty insects that have stingers. 

Most of the time I'm a "live and let live" kind of guy.  But when these bugs attack and/or invade my home (including my carport)... they gotta die!  No mercy! 

The previous night I went to Wal-Mart, and took my neighbors advice about getting rid of these pests.  I bought a cheap tennis racket.  After getting out of my car, and being buzz-bombed by a bee, I went into the house and brought out my secret weapon.

Holding the racket, I crept up toward the only bee I could see.   When I thought I was close enough, I swung back the racket, then swung hard toward the bee.  Well...the bee was fast.  Too fast.  And I think he was warned by the movement of the back swing, so when I started swing forward, he flew right at me!  Ack!  I jumped back and did some funky kind of dance to make sure the bee wasn't on me trying to plant its stinger in me.  I probably looked fairly foolish, but looking foolish, in my opinion, is much better than being stung.

Change of tactic.  I now stealthily approached the bee with the racket already "cocked", my arm already back and ready to swing forward at a moments notice.  I got close enough, the bee turned to look at me, but hovered in place.  As I stared him down, I swing as hard as I could, and heard a "thump!" when then racket connected with said bee. 

I figured there would be another "thump" when the bee hit something as it landed, but heard nothing.  "That's strange", I thought, but then looked at the racket, where the bee was stuck.  A bit of panic ensued having the bee right next to me, but I hit the racket to the ground, dislodged the bee, and stepped on it. 

Jeff 1 - Bees 0.  I may have won the battle, but the war continues on.....



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